


A Theatrical Production

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Calthazar being bad influences, Crack, Everyone Ignores Chuck, God Writes Something For His Sons, God’s Alcohol problem, Jealous!Winchesters, M/M, Michael and Lucifer fuck shit up, Theatrical productions, This doesn’t pan out right, a hand is on fire for half the fic and on one cares, mentions of spankings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 17:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12939966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: God wants Michael and Lucifer to perform a skit. It does not go to plan like he thought it would.





	A Theatrical Production

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Askatosch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askatosch/gifts).



> This was requested by the AMAZINGLY TALENTED @askatosch, who also read This Became Art By Mistake and cried laughing over my translations, and thus he wanted this to happen. So here it is, my friend. Enjoy.

“I can’t believe Dad wants us to perform a skit,” Lucifer lamented, flopping down on the couch across from his big brother. 

Michael snorted, looking over the script. “Knowing you, you’re going to fuck it up anyways,” he said idly. 

“Mikey,” Lucifer gave Michael a plaintive look. “There’s a kissing scene.” 

Michael frowned. “There is??” He flipped through the script. “Great. I kind of want to fuck it up now,” he admitted. 

“Then let’s do so!” Lucifer said excitedly. 

Michael chuckled and shook his head, but deep down, he was excited too. 

Once upon a time, he and Lucifer  _ were. . .  _ intimate. But maybe that was their downfall. Maybe their love was part of their undoing. . . 

But that was the past. Now, he was with Dean Winchester, and Lucifer was with Sam Winchester. Ironic that they became intimate with their own True Vessels, but it’s possible that that helped a lot with their healing process. 

He could hear Dean’s pleased laughter at Michael deliberately irritating his Father. 

 

“Gather round!” Chuck said excitedly, looking over at Gabriel, Raphael, Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Balthazar. “Michael and Lucifer have a skit for us.” 

“I’m terrified,” Gabriel said with a straight face. “You know they’re going to fuck it up, right?” He obscenely removed the lollipop from his mouth, squawking at Raphael’s calm slap to the back of his head. 

“No they won’t!” Chuck waved a dismissive hand. “And now, I present Michael and Lucifer in their skit: Lover’s Redemption.” 

Sam turned a bitchface upon Chuck at the title and Dean growled under his breath. The Winchesters knew that Michael and Lucifer had been lovers prior to Lucifer’s Fall, but that didn’t mean that they had to like it. They certainly didn’t like to be reminded of it. 

Michael and Lucifer trudged forward, a fire encircling them, making them close. Very close. Too close for either Winchester’s comfort. 

“And- action!” Chuck said. 

Michael looked at Lucifer. “I don’t want to kill you, Lucifer, but Father said-” 

“Father this, Father that,” Lucifer mocked, rolling his eyes. Gabriel snorted behind his hand. “Tell me, Mikey, if Father told you to bathe in holy fire, would you?” 

“Well-” Michael hesitated before nodding. “Yes, I would. Because I am a good son.” 

“That’s not what I wrote,” Chuck muttered under his breath. Everyone ignored him. Sam and Dean were observing how close the archangels were, and imagining what to do to restake their claims. Gabriel was eating popcorn, and Raphael was stealing from Gabriel’s bucket. Castiel and Balthazar were. . . not even paying attention. No one cared to interrupt them. Interrupting Balthazar and Castiel was almost like a death sentence. 

“Yes, yes, I suppose you are,” Lucifer sighed dramatically, flinging his hands into the air. “Come now, Mikey, you’re supposed to have an original thought.” 

“We were created for His will,” Michael said serenely. 

Then the fight started. 

Fighting was good in the Winchester’s eyes, because it helped their jealous sides purr, and they began laying down outrageous bets on which angel would win. Gabriel and Raphael were doing the same, the popcorn bucket refilled and overflowing with butter and nacho cheese. Balthazar was now fully on top of Castiel’s lap, doing something indecent with his hips. Chuck was frowning, but he didn’t say anything. Apparently a fight scene  _ was  _ written in. 

The fight scene ended when, randomly, they were too close to the flames and Lucifer’s hand caught fire.

Dean triumphantly threw his fist into the air while Sam sighed and buried his head in his hands. However, the skit wasn’t over, as a heavenly glow of light surrounded Lucifer and his fiery hand as his wings, looking like stained glass, shone through the room. 

Sam and Gabriel applauded the theatrics. 

Michael gave a soft gasp. 

Lucifer wiggled his eyebrows in a salacious manner. “Like what you see, Mikey? Still wanna bend me over and pound into me?” he drawled. 

Michael flushed but shook his head. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be. I never thought-” 

“What, that our Father would hurt his favorite?” Lucifer snorted. “Please. He made me into a monster and couldn’t handle the consequences, so he threw me down to Earth, among the humans. And when I played with his creations like they were a part of my violin, he hated me even more and had  _ you  _ lock me up inside a  _ box _ encased in Hellfire and said ‘You must kill him when he breaches this earth again, my son’.” As he imitated Chuck, his voice became thunderous and there was definitely a lightning strike somewhere in the vicinity. 

Dean and Raphael rolled his eyes. Lucifer’s flair for the dramatic was a bit overwhelming. Gabriel nearly snorted nacho cheese. Sam was trying his hardest not to laugh. Castiel and Balthazar were rapidly losing clothes. Chuck was snapping a bottle of whiskey into existence. “I’m not drunk enough for this,” he muttered. 

Again, no one paid Chuck any attention. 

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have done it,” Michael sighed. 

“Yeah? If you had known, I bet you still would have,” Lucifer snapped, marching over to where Michael was and trying to get him onto his knees. 

Michael was trying his hardest not to laugh. “Lucifer! What are you doing?” he asked. 

“Trying to get you back on the ground so I can bash your skull in!” Lucifer barked. 

Sam fell over laughing in his chair. Dean kicked his brother’s leg. Gabriel and Raphael exchanged knowing glances, used to their brothers’ shenanigans. Castiel and Balthazar were now naked. No one paid any attention to them. Chuck was now a quarter of the way through the whiskey. 

“No, please, don’t bash my skull in.” Michael grabbed Lucifer’s wrist. “You falling- that wasn’t your fault.” 

Lucifer paused. “What?” 

Michael stood up, placing a gentle hand on Lucifer’s shoulder. Lucifer backed up a little. His hand was still on fire. 

“I was never sure if I could actually kill you, Lucifer,” Michael murmured. “Throwing you into the Cage. . . it was like ripping my heart out.” 

“And you’ve had to live without a heart?” Lucifer asked. 

A high pitched whine came from somewhere in the back and in unison, the archangels and the Winchesters shouted “SHUT UP BALTHAZAR!” 

Chuck was halfway through the bottle of whiskey and muttering in a low voice how this wasn’t the script. 

Michael ran his fingers through Lucifer’s wings, and Sam growled low in his throat, a possessive one. They ignored him.

“Micha,” Lucifer whispered. 

Michael grabbed the side of Lucifer’s neck, his thumb rubbing over the younger angel’s Adam’s apple. 

The Winchesters tensed in their seats, coiled up and ready to spring. This was too intimate, they were going to kiss and they were going to have to show those angels  _ who they belonged to now. _

“I love you, Lucifer,” Michael whispered, “And I don’t want to kill you. Not now, not ever.” 

A smirk spread across Lucifer’s lips. “So you’re not going to abide by Father’s will?” he asked. 

“Father can take his will and shove it up his ass if it’s killing you,” Michael whispered. 

Lucifer laughed. “You’re no longer ‘the good son’,” he teased. 

Michael chuckled happily, squeezing Lucifer’s neck playfully. “I think I can live with that.” 

“CUT!” Chuck shouted. “Michael, Lucifer. . . what was that?” 

Michael and Lucifer jumped back from each other, facing their family. The Winchesters looked like they were going to eat the angels alive. Gabriel was grinning like a lunatic. Raphael had a sort of secretive smirk. And Balthazar and Castiel were too busy trying to become one entity to pay attention. No one cared. Lucifer’s hand was still on fire. 

“Us being faithful to ourselves,” Michael said plainly. 

“We love each other, still,” Lucifer clarified, “but no longer in the romantic sense. We’re different people now, and we’re  _ with  _ different people. And, frankly, the Winchesters probably would have figured out how to kill you  _ if  _ Michael and I did kiss.” 

“Only to be killed ourselves afterwards,” Michael grunted. 

“Death by Winchester doesn’t sound that bad,” Lucifer said happily. 

Sam growled darkly. 

“So we changed the script around,” Lucifer shrugged. “It still has a redemption arc to it. And Mikey and I have made our peace, for the most part.” 

Michael nodded in agreement. 

Chuck sighed. “I suppose that makes sense,” he mumbled before going to finish his whiskey. 

Dean got up and marched over to the Viceroy of Heaven, pulling him in for a rough kiss. Michael groaned and gripped Dean’s shoulders tightly as he allowed him to assault his mouth. 

“Don’t think you’re not in trouble, angel,” Dean breathed against Michael’s lips. 

Michael chuckled lowly, purring from the possessiveness rolling off of Dean. “I can’t wait to see what you have in store,” he breathed. 

Dean smirked. “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he said. 

Michael smiled. “I love you,” he murmured. 

Dean’s smile was a bit warmer, a bit less possessive. “I love you too.” 

Sam, meanwhile, was tugging Lucifer close by the hand that wasn’t covered in flames and kissing him slow and sweet, yet still dirty. 

“I think someone deserves to be thrown over my knee for that,” Sam murmured against Lucifer’s lips as they broke. 

“It’s not like I  _ actually  _ kissed him,” Lucifer murmured, “and I was the one who told Mikey about the scene Father wrote.” 

“He touched your wings,” Sam growled softly. 

Lucifer smiled. If he thought he was possessive and proud of his wings, he met his match in Sam Winchester. “I know, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmured. “You can groom them properly.” 

“Good,” Sam purred. He looked down at Lucifer’s other hand. It was still on fire. “Um, Luce?”

“Hmm?” 

“Could you. . . please put out the fire?” Sam asked. 

“Fire, what fire?” Lucifer was confused.  

Sam stared at Lucifer before grabbing the forearm of the burning hand and lifted it. 

“Oh.” Lucifer frowned. “I didn’t realize that my hand had been on fire.” 

He snapped and the flames went out, leaving an unblemished hand. 

“Thank you,” Sam breathed. “Still going to turn that ass red, though.” 

“I know,” Lucifer murmured. 

“Hey, Sammy, remember- you lost our bet,” Dean called, and Sam turned to see that Michael had thrown Dean over his shoulder and was marching out the door. 

“Fuck you, jerk!” Sam called after him. 

“Whatever bitch.” 

Gabriel and Raphael were now quietly talking amongst themselves about something unrelated, and Castiel and Balthazar were taking a nap underneath a blanket. 

No one paid any attention. 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


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